caddyshack_carl

There you have it.  Groundhog Day is upon us, and that little rodent Punxutawney Phil has seen his shadow and taken cover.  We here at GearCrave’s Midwest office can’t stand winter– and all the shoveling, layered clothing and dreary skies that come along with it.  So when Phil the Groundhog in Punxsutawney, PA declared six more weeks of winter, we got mad.  And when we get mad, we get even.  So in a brief departure from standard GearCrave fare, we’ve compiled a list of 10 ways to kill everyone’s favorite groundhog, Punxsutawney Phil.

  1. Poison Carrot.  Carrot + Cyanide = no more shadow-fearing groundhog.
  2. Shovel.  Because we’re tired of using it just for snow.
  3. Bear Traps.  If it’s good enough for a bear, its good enough for a groundhog.
  4. Bears.  In case the traps don’t work.
  5. Firebomb.  I love the smell of napalm’d groundhog in the morning…
  6. Hitman.  Punxsutawney Phil sleeps with the fishes.
  7. Nickelback.  Blast a Nickelback album on repeat all day.  That’ll kill anything.
  8. Robots.  A Terminator should do the job.
  9. Nuclear Weapons.  “We’re gonna smoke ‘em out”.
  10. How would you do it? Leave your preferred method of groundhog extermination in the comments…

Six more weeks until Spring, huh Phil?  You might want to think twice about that prediction…  So, dear readers, how would you kill Punxsutawney Phil?  Our favorite comment wins the groundhog’s head on their wall.