Try as we might to deny it, video games certainly have their fair share of violence. But it’s all in good fun, as proven by the wild, crazy and downright cool weapons we’ve been able to play with over the years. Sure, we’ve seen a few friendly sites build similar lists, but last week’s Portal Gun replica got us excited enough to take our own crack at it. Can you blame us?  Here they are, GearCrave’s ten best video game weapons in the history of gaming.

Number Ten: F.E.A.R.’s Nail Gun

In a testament to the beautiful merger of video games and physics, the Nail Gun in F.E.A.R. let players pin enemies to the wall, apparently for no good reason other than to allow for Internet bragging rights. The sequel’s coming next month, so you’ll get another chance at this sadistic killing machine if you missed it the first time around.

Number Nine: Doom’s BFG 9000

Yeah, yeah, you called this one from a mile away. It’s not like the BFG 9000 can be excluded from the list because of predictability. This big freakin’ gun floats a massive green orb towards enemies and, on impact, spreads to any poor sap nearby. Don’t bother fighting a room full of Cacodemons without it.

Number Eight: Unreal Tournament’s Redeemer

Controlling the Redeemer was always an imprecise science. Once you fired the one-shot mini-nuke, the camera would switch to the missle’s perspective, and you’d have to wind it around corners to reach your target. Fortunately, it didn’t matter if your aim wasn’t perfect, because even the splash damage was impossible to survive.

Number Seven: Halo: Combat Evolved’s Pistol

It’s no surprise that Bungie nixed the pistol as it functioned in the original Halo. It was just too deadly and accurate, to the point where no other weapon mattered. In other words, it was a great gun, and some gamers were understandably upset with its no-scope replacement, which was useless without another weapon in hand. Maybe this was the UNSC’s biggest military blunder.

Number Six: No More Heroes’ Blood Berry

Most guys would love to own a Lightsaber, but that would require traveling to a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away. Travis Touchdown’s beam katana was won through an Internet auction, and there are no Jedi skills required to operate it. Let’s hope one shows up on Ebay.

Number Five: Mega Man’s Thunder Beam

Picking one selection from Mega Man’s ever-expanding arsenal was no easy task. Ultimately, it came down to usability. Not only was Elec Man’s weapon the bane of Ice Man’s existence, it was shockingly effective on the Rock Monster and Dr. Wily as well. For every sequel that followed, I wished for a weapon with such brutality and versatility.

Number Four: Ninja Gaiden’s Dragon Sword

In its early years, Ryu Hayabusa’s Dragon Sword appeared to be a simple melee weapon, but it really came into its own during the series’ recent round of remakes. The concept of sharpness is so brilliantly conveyed as this mythic sword slices through the limbs and heads of your foes. The best part? Ryu always gives the blade a quick flick to shake off the excess gore before sheathing it.

Number Three: Ratchet & Clank’s Morph-O-Ray

This weapon turns your enemy into a chicken. Comedic value aside, think of the implications. It’s one thing to be dead, but becoming a barnyard animal is so much crueler. Everything you love and lived for becomes a distant memory as you strut about, clucking and laying eggs. This is what anti-game pundits should really be worrying about.

Number Two: Turok 2’s Cerebral Bore

Certainly one of the most hated weapons in first-person shooter history, the Bore was nearly impossible to escape once an opponent was lined in its crosshairs. Once fired, the floating contraption would home in on the enemy’s head, digging out comical amounts of brain goo. Years later, I still remember that dreaded “whirr,” mostly when I’m at the dentist.

Number One: Contra’s Spread Gun

It was often a point of contention among NES gamers whether the Laser or the Spread Gun was the superior Contra weapon. This is my feature, so I’m putting a foot down; shooting five bullets at once is definitely preferable. Don’t believe me? Try playing for real, without the 30 lives code, using only that dinky little laser beam to defend you. The spread’s wall of bullets will start looking like a healthier alternative right quick.

Thanks for reading, GearCravers, Stumblers, Redditers and otherwise.  What did you think of the list?  Were there any that you would have included that we did not?  Some obvious omissions were the Masamune from Final Fantasy or the Golden Gun from Goldeneye, but we’d like to know your thoughts– let us know what you think in the comments!  Also, we’d love your help– feel free to share this article with your friends and give it an upvote on your favorite social media website.  Thanks for visiting us, don’t be a stranger now, ya hear?